(NOV 25) Today, WBAN received a retirement letter from Valerie Mahfood.  Mahfood has been a true warrior throughout this sport, and has fought the best.  She wrote the following to WBAN:

Sue,

I won my first Tough Woman match in November of 1994. Shortly thereafter, I met my trainers, Harry Murdock and Austin Green. At first, they wanted nothing to do with me. It wasn't anything personal against me, but if you remember, women just didn't box back then.

Well, one thing lead to another and I hung around the gym long enough that they eventually started to pay attention to me. I entered a few more local Tough Woman contests, had one amateur fight and, with no other options available, I turned professional.

Somewhere in the midst of all that, the three of us went to dinner to discuss where this whole boxing thing might take us. After which, the waitress at the Chinese restaurant brought the table some fortune cookies. Inside of mine, the paper read: "In the end, everything will be okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

At the time, I had no idea what that meant. Nonetheless, I tucked the paper into my pocket as we walked into the parking lot. I don't know why, but the fortune ended up in my desk drawer. A few times a year, I would come across it while looking for something else and quickly toss it back.
Time passed. At least half a decade went by before I suffered my first truly devastating lost. I hadn't realized it, but over time I had begun to define myself not on my true worth as a person, but rather, by my prestige as a boxer.

That loss damn near crippled me. Immediately following it, I told Harry and Austin that I wanted to quit boxing. They didn't think I was right, but they didn't fight me on it either. Instead, they let me go.

Over the next few days, I didn't cope well. I couldn't sleep. All I kept thinking was that I wanted to get back into the ring. I came across that fortune and I thought "It's not okay. It can't be the end." I called my coaches and we started working out the next day.

last night, I fought Yvonne Reis. I lost the fight on unanimous decision. By the judge's scorecards, she won three out of the scheduled four rounds. By my personal scorecard, she won with the same margin.

Five years ago, I would have beaten her. I don't mean to take anything from her. She certainly has the heart of a fighter. But five years ago, I was "The Big Bad Wolfe." I was the woman that other women feared, respected and admired. Now, thirty-four on my next birthday, I'm not nearly as ferocious as I once was.

In fact, I have half the speed, only marginal power, and a complete inability to move my head away from a punch. Yes, I've always been a predictable fighter. As Austin puts it, I "will follow my opponent like a cat chasing a bowl of milk." But in the past, I had a wolf-like prowess that could at any moment, and often did, clutch victory in the face of defeat.

That didn't happen against Reis, which leaves me faced with a hard decision. In three weeks, I will walk across a college stage to receive my Masters in Business Administration. (I have been taking all the money I make in boxing and investing it into my education. Thank you, Dad, for that wonderful advice.) Because of my school schedule, I go to class four nights a week. As most women do, I also work a regular full time job.

There aren't any boxing gyms where I live. The closest one, where I can find sparring, is two hours away. I actually did that for several months; spending seven hours a day to get a two and a half hour workout. But I haven’t been able to do that again and go to school.

Now, with graduation so close, I want to continue my education and pursue my doctorate degree. Therein lays my dilemma. Do I quit school so I can continue boxing, or do I quit boxing and stay in school? If I were twenty years old again, I'd chase after that elusive world title belt. But I'm not twenty. I'm well into my thirties, and, at this point in my life, a world title for me is to walk across a college stage having earned the honor of being called: Doctor Valerie “Wolfe” Mahfood.

I have enjoyed boxing. I have had some fun! The things I've accomplished, the places I've gone and the people I've met make the past thirteen years hard to leave. But, when I woke up this morning, I felt okay about losing. I felt okay with Yvonne winning. And that tells me that I've reached my end.
I can't say with conviction that I'll never box again. Maybe if my situation changes and I can devote the amount of time needed to effectively compete, I’d love to get back into the ring. But, for right now, I’m doing myself; I’m doing the sport, an injustice.

If I ever come back, I want to pursue the game with the same passion that I had before life got so hectic and school was so tough. But, if I don’t ever come back, I know that what I had was wonderful. I have been on top of the world, fifty thousand people screaming my name. Like yours, mine is a pioneer's name to women's boxing.

Thank you Sue. Thank you women's boxing. The world will never know how much it saved me.

Sincerely,
The Big Bad Wolfe (Retired)

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